Does Kindness make Children feel Loved?

KAHKASHAN JABEEN
M.A, Psychology
Clinical psychologist
@Islaah Center for Psychological Wellness

In literal terms kindness means the quality of being friendly, considerate and generous. Kindness is a positive force that connects the humanity since ages. We don’t need a particular day to be kind yet, 13th of November is celebrated as “WORLD KINDNESS DAY”. It’s an interpersonal skill and often requires courage and strength. Man is a social being and interdependent on his fellow beings for love affection and acceptance. Current research on this topic shows that devoting resources to others instead of having more and more for yourself, adds to personal growth and lasting wellbeing. Being kind makes us feel good and motivates us to do better. The physical feeling that is associated with kindness, releases endorphins (feel good hormones) which improves a child’s physical and emotional health.

The first step towards kindness for a young child is helping. This can be as easy a task as getting something for mom from the refrigerator while she is cooking. Parent should start inculcating these habits in children at a very young age by providing opportunities at home itself, as the popular saying goes ‘’charity begins at home”. We as parents can become role models for children by giving something to someone who needs it, be it time, expertise, talent, material goods.

When children are kind and compassionate, they become more tolerable and are aware of the suffering of others. Parents should also work on the social connection of their children as this makes them feel good and make them do good as well. They feel responsible, loved and accepted. This in turn helps the society as a whole. I would like to share an incident here, it was the first day at school for a nursery student and it was difficult for him to settle, every now and then we could see his older brother who was in PP2 pop up to check how his younger brother was doing. When it was home time the older one came running and hugged his younger brother and kept assuring that things are going to be fine. This in itself is an example that children are hardwired to empathize and want to help others. Therefore, kindness boosts your child’s self esteem and helps him grow to be happy and a loving person.