Behaviors are nothing but an action which can be visible and mostly related to the mental state which is invisible. For example if the child is upset because of disturbed home environment and in class he doesn’t pay attention and gets irritated easily. We tend to label this child as stubborn and inattentive kid.

Child’s behavior is a mirror to their mental state and parenting which can be controlled or get uncontrolled by the way we respond to those behaviors. So it is important for parents and teachers to understand why the child is behaving that way.

So let us now know few common behaviors and their misconceptions

Disobeying or disrespectful behavior:
If you ask your child to help you out in household task and he/she right away give you a back answer and say ‘ I am not gonna do any work”. This might be because he has learnt it from his elders or he might have got the same answer from you when he wanted something from you and he is hurt.

Long screen time: 
The most common complaint from parents is that their child spends lot of his/her time on gadgets but we fail to understand that we are hand tide to provide them a substitute to it. We don’t allow them to go out in neighborhood neither we spend an ample time with them. We are only happy to see them busy with their books.

Problem eaters:
Children are very picky in what they eat or claim to be hungry every 10 minutes; food is meant to fuel your child’s body, not to comfort him when he’s sad or entertain him when he’s bored. Avoid saying things like, “vegetables are healthy.” Kids tend to think healthy food tastes bad. Instead, talk about how delicious vegetables and other nutritious foods are and keep limit on junk and snakes so your child will automatically eat when he is hungry

Aggression:
Some kids become aggressive because they don’t know how to handle their feelings, fears and insecurities in a socially appropriate way or they just learn it from environment seeing that being aggressive helps them to make them do things they want.  So we need to make it clear that let them have a space to take out their emotions and don’t allow them to pile up and convert in anger.

Lying:
There are three main reasons kids lie; to get attention, to avoid getting in trouble, and to feel better about them. Do not take it personally. Think about it from your child’s perspective to understand what compelled him to lie. Teach them to be honest.

To conclude we need to stop complaining and understand the reason behind child’s behavior to manage that behavior effectively.

Start by being a role model!!
-Dr.Azra Fatima
Consultant Clinical Psychologist
Islaah Center for psychological wellness (A division of LEARN Maximum)